


Cat's Out of the Bag

by NamelesslyNightlock



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Goose, Gen, Goose Does What She Wants, Goose Eats What She Wants, Goose doesn't fight the war, Humor, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, She ends it, Shocked Everyone, Shocked Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 17:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Thanos is on his way and the Avengers know they’re outmatched– but Fury promises that he has an ace up his sleeve. It just doesn’t turn out to be quite what Tony is expecting.





	Cat's Out of the Bag

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AeonTheDimensionalGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonTheDimensionalGirl/gifts).



> This was written for **AeonTheDimensionalGirl** , who never fails to send me the best thoughts. I've put the original idea down in the end note.
> 
> And thanks **Rabentochter** , for reading this over for me!

When it seemed like all hope was lost, when Thanos was on his way with six Infinity Stones and an army, and the only thing standing in the way of the complete destruction of Earth was the Avengers– well, Tony was feeling a little bit stressed out.

They had exhausted all of their options, there was _nothing left_ – every faction on Earth had been called in, they had squeezed every last drop of resistance from every place that they could, and they were preparing themselves for the end. Oh, they’d go out with a fight of course, they’d fight as long and as hard as they could, but the hope for victory seemed so far out of reach that they had mostly stopped trying to pretend. They knew what was coming, and they had accepted it.

Then, like an avenging angel, Fury had joined the party with a smile and a pager and had promised that things would be fine, that he had an ace up his sleeve– that with his secret weapon in play, they _could not lose_.

Tony, of course, had been instantly curious.

For starters, Fury never smiled, _never._ So for him to do so now, on the brink of the end of all things was more than a little odd, but– somehow, it only made Tony trust it more. Because if Fury was anything (except, perhaps, a spy) then he was a pragmatist, and he had never tried to sugar coat or rose tint a single thing in all the years that Tony had known him. In fact, Fury generally tended to have this aura about him that made everything seem _worse_.

So to see him so bright now…

“FRIDAY?” Tony said the _moment_ that Fury left the compound. “Try and figure out what he’s talking about, will you?”

“On it, boss.”

In the end, since there was nothing better to do than to sit around and mope, Tony, Vision, Loki, and Bruce all got in on the action, with Tony and Bruce especially feeling nostalgic for the old days as they hacked through the remaining SHIELD files that had not hit the internet back in 2014. It was tricky, since going back to the time that the pager suggested meant that the files were pretty old. But thankfully, SHIELD had made the mistake of backing up paper to digital and they managed to break through.

And what they found was…

Well.

“Holy shit,” Tony said, his eyes widening as he read the data, the reports, the eye witnesses. “Holy _shit_.”

“What is it?” Loki asked, his hand pressing gently into the small of Tony’s back and rubbing small, soothing circles as he stepped closer. “What have you found?”

Bruce pointed at the screen, his own eyes just as wide as Tony’s.

“Carol Danvers,” Loki read, his lips brushing Tony’s ear as he read– though the further he got, the closer he leaned to the screen. “Also known as Captain Marvel. US Air Force, presumed dead in 1989. Reappeared six years later, capable of discharging photon blasts that…” He trailed off, his hand stilling in surprise. _“Oh_.”

“She is more powerful than any of us,” Vision murmured, and while Tony could practically _feel_ Loki’s eye roll, he had to agree.

“Thanos is not going to know what hit him,” Bruce said, his voice slow and rife with anticipation.

“Oh yes,” Tony agreed, his own grin widening across his lips. “This is going to be _fun_.”

—✶—

When Thanos landed on the battlefield – a wide open plain, with no civilisation for hundreds of miles – it was to find the Avengers assembled together in full force, every member and ally that they had managed to accumulate standing firm with their weapons at the ready. Thanos, in contrast, seemed to have left his army up in orbit. There was no need for them when he had six Infinity Stones at his beck and call.

“You didn't need to have troubled yourselves with rolling out such a welcome wagon,” Thanos said smoothly, his voice setting Tony’s teeth on edge. “You will not have the time to make use of it.”

Thanos raised his hand, preparing to use the most powerful artefacts in the universe. One alone was more than capable of tearing apart planets– together, all six of them at once would obliterate anything and everything with merely a single thought. They _truly_ had no chance—

At least, not until—

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Fury’s familiar voice said from behind. “Say hello to my little friend!”

Tony spun on the spot, expecting to see Carol Danvers in all her glory, glowing as bright and powerful as the old case files had said that she would—

But instead, he only saw Fury, holding an orange cat out before him with both hands like an offering– or, perhaps, like an ill-timed rendition of the Lion King.

“Oh god,” said Clint. “He’s finally lost it.”

“Then _we’ve_ lost,” Loki hissed, angrily. Thor reached out and grabbed his shoulder, and Loki shrugged it off immediately. He was hissing again– probably trying to tell Thor that he wasn’t thinking of running, not realising that Thor had meant the gesture to be comforting. Tony wished he could reach out and comfort his lover himself, except—

Fury was walking forward, still holding the cat out in front of him, muttering under his breath.

“Now, come on Goose,” he was saying. “This is your moment. Right here, right now. This is when you save the world.”

Oh, fuck, Clint was right. He really _had_ lost it—

But then—

Suddenly, in an explosion of noise and _tentacles—_

Oh, _fuck._

The _thing_ that Tony _thought_  was a cat was clearly _not_ , for in a single moment it had opened its jaws wide and had _exploded_ , tendrils sweeping across to attack Thanos, splattering him against the ground, wrapping around him—

Completely and utterly _destroying_ him—

And, uh, Tony thought he had a tough stomach. He’d seen a lot of stuff during his life, but. When the damn thing then proceeded to _swallow—_

Yeah.

 _Definitely_ not a cat.

Everyone was simply frozen, staring, _gaping_ between the spot where Thanos now wasn’t, and the not-cat that had just _eaten_ him.

“Good kitty,” Fury cooed, cuddling the– _t_ _hing– c_ lose to his chest. As if it were _cute_.

(Which it kind of was, now that the tentacles had disappeared once again.)

“Did that thing just eat Thanos?” Steve asked in complete shock.

“Never mind that,” Tony flailed. “Did that thing just eat _all of the Infinity Stones?”_

“Oh, she’ll be fine.” The voice was new, and dancing with amusement. Tony turned in a jerky movement to find the face of the woman he had been _expecting_ , decked out in red, blue, and gold. She wasn’t glowing like the reports said she would, though, and she merely raised an unimpressed brow as she stared at them all.

“Captain Danvers, I presume?” Tony asked weakly.

“The one and only.” She glanced around. “I'm here for my cat.”

Tony gaped, Steve pointed, and Carol’s expression brightened.

“Hey, Nick,” she called. “You do remember what happened the last time you held her for too long?”

Fury’s arms opened immediately, and the not-cat landed on its feet. It looked up at Fury and _meowed_ in a disapproving manner before sticking its tail and nose in the air and trotting over to Carol. The Avengers all skittered backward as it approached– Thor actually tripped and fell over, taking both Loki _and_ Barnes with him – all scrambling to stay as far away as possible.

“Oh Goose,” Carol crooned, leaning down to pick up her… _cat_. “Did you end this fight for them? Did you do a good job?”

The _demon_ meowed again, and rubbed its cheek to Carol’s affectionately.

“Well, I don’t know about you boys,” Natasha said through the ensuing moment of stunned silence, “but I think I need a drink.”

“Seconded,” said Steve, still sounding a little out of it.

“What about the Infinity Stones?” Tony asked weakly, even as he started to follow everyone else back to the myriad of quinjets.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Fury said, patting Tony lightly on the arm. “They’ll be safe with Goose.”

And as the not-cat turned and glanced over Carol’s shoulder at the sound of its name, its eyes wide and innocent, Tony found that he did not doubt it in the slightest.  

**Author's Note:**

>  **AeonTheDimensionalGirl's** original thought was:
> 
>   _I was thinking about Captain Marvel and then I thought back to ‘The Midgard Offensive’ when Fury shows up all ‘surprise mf’ in order to help and now I can’t stop thinking over how hilarious it would have been if in the Thanos/Loki/Tony showoff Fury would have gone ‘SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!’ and Tony turns around expecting to see a bazooka or something but instead Fury is holding out Goose while Carol films in the background_
> 
> And I know it's not exactly that but, I just. Had to write this. I _had to_ ❤︎


End file.
